A Sliver Of Silver Reflection
by GarrusVakarian2153
Summary: Garrus Vakarian loos back on the last few years, from his childhood and growing up on Palaven, to what happened in his early years as a C-Sec officer before he was promoted to the investigations unit, to his relationship with Shepard and everything they've been through. A reminiscent journey through all the old times...


I remember years ago, while working in C-Sec there was this case where Turian children kept disappearing on one of the wards. Posters were popping up on every street corner, countless faces. Within weeks the outpost I was stationed at was packed with dozens of Turian parents begging for their children to be found. Often mothers doing most of the talking while the fathers were either out trying to find their sons and daughters themselves or simply did what they could to somehow get us to work harder on figuring out what in spirits name was going on. This was all happening within my first year as a C-Sec officer, before I got moved up to investigations at the C-Sec HQ.

My immediate thought was to figure out where all these kids were from and after a few days of asking around and looking through the public records of all the parents that had approached us I was able to narrow it down to a half dozen blocks of residential buildings. A mostly Turian enclave area of the Citadel with some Volus and Elcor mixed in, maybe even the occasional Salarian.

One thing I noticed was how quiet the streets were. For an area that housed over ten thousand residents, the main streets were mostly empty. The local park had the occasional shady figure who would run off if you tried to get close, but for the most part it was also empty.

I walked down a few dozen more blocks, out of the enclave and into the Asari/Salarian dominated area of the ward. Children and families were noticeably making up over half of the locals walking by. Asari school groups, and the occasional Salarian cluster created the kind of bustle you would expect.

Growing up on Cipritine I was accustomed to streets filled with other children playing war, and building forts out of dumpsters and cardboard in back alleys and raiding the bases other 'factions' of kids who were part of different educational regiments or schools.

As a kid I was much more fascinated with tearing things apart and figuring out why they work and trying to improve them or splice them into something else.

Sol, my sister, took after me in this aspect a little as she got past her infant years my tools and projects would often go 'missing' often ending up under her bed or hidden in a closet.

I was never the kind of kid who was into reckless violence and growing up unless I had some kind of conviction for what I was doing. I only ever got into one fight with this one kid named Valaksus because he kept harassing the smaller kids. Ended up breaking his arm, and dislocating his other shoulder; I only walked away with a bloody face. We ended up moving to the outskirts of the city after that.

I could see the value in something like hand to hand as a form of protection for myself and others. Aside from that, if I didn't believe in learning something I never really gave it my full attention much to the frustration of my father. I hated rifle training and hunting trips when I was young, needless violence, and why did I have to kill them? I always had a moral high ground of thinking people could, with enough persuasion see things my way and that violence could be avoided. My dad tried to help me understand that the convictions of the self and the convictions of the cause must always be worth dying for, and while this may seem close minded as I argued, he pointed out that some people's causes are for peace and for helping others like he was with his job at C-Sec. keeping an open mind is always important when dealing with so many different people he said; but sometimes violence is necessary. Sometimes people need to die, and it is their conviction to their wrong doing that decides their fate. When I asked him how he decides who lives and dies he simply said their lives weren't up to him; and that whether they needed to die or not wasn't a choice he could make as a cop, but rather a personal belief he had to set aside for a noble cause: Staying within the lines of the law and of civility.

So walking around on the Turian enclave later that night while off duty I happened to pass by an alley when I saw a kid out of the corner of my eye at the far end.

She ran off before I could say anything, and given the lack of any other kids in the area and the fact that they've been going missing, I ran after her. Down the alley, through some fences, and two residential buildings I followed her to this basement under some shabby restaurant that had closed years ago.

Ended up upon this ring of Turians who were selling the kids to Batarian slavers and auctioning others to Krogans who wanted to take their revenge out on the Turians who put their species down with the genophage. The kids couldn't fight back. The kids would get shipped out to other parts of the citadel and would be beaten to death and disposed of, even cooked afterwards by some of the Krogan, most of the kids were homeless but as they ran out of those, they started taking the ones who had families just to keep the business going.

Even to this day I can't recall the firefight that ensued, or even fully recall tracking down every monstrous customer of this nightmare from the ledger I found and doing the world the service of removing them from it. I had never in my life experienced such an intense rage towards another person or group of people.

I killed them all. Every single one.

When my dad found out he was furious. Yelled at me about fair trial and following the rule book. Especially when it came to those that I had tracked down.

He ended up covering the whole thing up, aside from giving me credit for shutting down the crime ring, which gave the promotion to the investigations unit, no one ever really knew or found out about everyone who had bought the kids. Several of them were returned to their families after a couple raids on batarian slavers weeks later, and the ones I saved that night went home the next day. The young girl I had followed had managed to escape and led me to where she was taken, before running home once she knew I would enter the building. Turns out she knew I was a cop because she had seem me on patrol weeks before. Within weeks the enclave seemed to be no different from the streets back home.

But he covered the whole thing up.

It was the only corrupt thing he had ever done in all his years at C-Sec. I know damn well I would have lost my job and probably gone to prison for murder.

But… they had to die. Of this I was fully convinced.

From then on my relationship with him got even harder, we hardly talked, and anytime we did, it was either him lecturing me or both of us arguing. I began to loathe all the rules and red tape the came with the job and after what I had witnessed.

The capability for unimaginable cruelty of other people. I always had more of a mind that taking these kinds of scum off the streets in such a way that they could never harm anyone ever again was worth whatever means it took to accomplish that, even if it meant bending or breaking some of the rules.

This is how I went about my job at C-Sec for years, each year feeling more and more restrained by the rules that felt like they were only there to help the bad guys get away. People like Dr. Saleon.

And then I met Shepard, this… amazing human who taught me how short sighted my frustrations had left me. Who showed me more than I ever would have learned with C-Sec. She showed me the direct approach of convincing others to see her side or dealing with them if they won't. Who had the ability to set out the ideals I had as a kid and put them into practice in the real world. And who's combat ability was a terrifying force to be reckoned with. The first few missions with her I caught myself distracted by how quickly she moved from target to target, clearing rooms faster than I had ever seen. The Geth, and the Pirates, Mercs, assassins. The minute she arrived they didn't stand a chance.

I aspired to be like her. How even with merc bands smart enough to talk first, she would give them the opportunity to leave, rather than shooting them first. Always offering the handshake first and the barrel of a gun second.

Every encounter with Saren she fought him through words as well as weapons, and her spirit never seemed to back down. Her influence was so great she was able to convince him to take his own life, the last act of defiance against Sovereign. A power with words I had never seen in my entire life.

It was as if she was glowing and I was careful to absorb all I could from her and to be at her side no matter the situation.

After Saren, I went back to C-Sec with a renewed fire and passion for serving; for protecting those who couldn't protect themselves. And even though the frustration of the red tape was almost immediately apparent, I kept my head held high, and always offered the handshake and a way out, before going for the gun. Those months I brought in more criminals alive and unharmed (mostly) than I had ever done in entire years of working with C-Sec. Many of them recognized me next to Shepard on the vids of the battle for the Citadel, cutting through Geth heavy lines and kind of gave up as soon as I showed up to whatever operation they had going so I guess that made the job a little easier.

Intimidation wasn't something I was used to, but I learned how useful it was in ending fights before they even began.

And then Shepard died.

I…

It's still kind of hard to talk about or clearly recall.

It felt like losing a part of myself, and life on the Citadel fell apart.

The constant drug busts and same scenario criminal kingpin wanna be's made me feel like I wasn't accomplishing anything.

I was losing it.

Everything Shepard had taught me, everything we accomplished.

Everything she taught me to be, everything that I was and wanted to be.

I was losing control of it all.

I had to do something.

Had to stop the problem at the source.

It's what she would have done.

I Ended up drifting for a few months from colony to colony in the terminus systems looking for trouble as I went before losing my way all the way to Omega.

I needed a cause to believe in and Omega was no shortage of causes.

And well… Heh… I'm sure your familiar with how that went down hmm?

When Shepard came back from the dead it felt like a part of myself that I had lost had been restored. I fought better, the banter came natural, I could let my guard down around her. I could truly feel like myself around her.

No way was a I about to let a rocket to the face cut short what had been returned to me only moments prior. Though I'm sure how high I was off the stims might of affected how i was feeling. Three days straight of shooting bad guys can make even me a little… whats that human word? Cookoo?

With Shepard back in my life I could feel more myself, and I could let my guard down around her, even more so than back when we took down Saren. It felt more natural this time round for us to be just us.

Just like old times, but better still.

And with very few people onboard the Cerberus ship that we felt like we could trust (I removed like three dozen hidden cameras and audio devices from the forward battery, as well as a algorithm tracker from my terminal) It was only normal that we turned to each other more and more. Old friends, a hard thing to find back then.

And then after Shepard helped me with Sidonis, and the way Kaiden reacted to Shepard on Horizon, I suppose I should have expected Shepard to want more than friendship, me being the only one she could fully trust. And well… being completely honest that caught me completely off guard.

It was… nerve wracking and awkward, but the more we felt out our feelings the more natural it became, the more… right it was and the more we could feel like ourselves. And this innate need to find ourselves in each other and to support each other defined every aspect of who we were, and spirits be dammed if I ever let anything happen to her because I know I'll lose myself as well.

It's a kind of belonging of the soul that I think we all strive for, and I couldn't be more at peace with having found my place in this world by Shepards side.

Because as I'm sure you know.

There really is no Shepard without Vakarian.

And damn does being me feel good.

G.


End file.
